So it's finally happened..
I've finally been posted out,
and I'm an RP...
what a contrasting vocation to Diving
well the course is pretty slack
and duty won't be too difficult...
something I'd actually wanted from the start...
but of course...
that's not to say I'm completely apathetic towards my previous course..
it still feels way more worth it to go through it...
everything feels inferior...
but then again..
why I went out in the first place..
I had my own reasons...
and I can only be responsible for what I chose...
despite it being out of character...
heh...
well, it's the way this life works I guess...
the microcosm of the army is such that...
after losing that an elite vocation..
you have to feel like shit...
makes you not want to make the same mistake in the real world..
which I should be thankful of for having experienced it now rather than later on....
(9:52 AM)

Having almost every episode of The Simpsons at your fingertips..
that's almost as good as a gift of the holy spirit..
and they're finally having a movie!..

and yet....
its still so boring....
(5:58 AM)

so...its a little over 330 days left
and I am more than halfway to the end...
but still the life in there is pretty unchanged..
draining my energy and life away..

still....
I have things to keep me alive...
like my love-hate relationship with my guitar...
the ongoing renovate my room project,
this blog...
WoW...
Sangokushi DS
some friends
some enemies of whom the thought of vengeance keeps me alive..
and
Booze.....
glorious lifeblood of nature...
(6:25 AM)

So I finally got down to tidying up my room..
and quite frankly I'm quite impressed at the progress..
just the door and windows to do up now...

In my financial situation...
I still have 1 someone who owes me 150 bucks...
and has disappeared from my reality....
and with that said..
I'm still in debt...
so to all you welfare agents selling tickets or other such items...
shove your hunger/poverty/abuse porn elsewhere...
its not a financial issue
its a social issue

And my current position as of now...
on the state of emotional attachment....
is a reply to all those who say..
if you love someone let them go...
I say
fuck that...
don't fight the feeling...
you can't let it go...
why lie to yourself..
just learn to live with it and keep reality in check..
because if you keep trying to let go..
or become apathetic its gonna waste whats left of the rest of your life..
face forward to your reality...

Yoroshiku...
whatever that means..
(4:00 AM)